May they soon improve. After all, advancing birthdays are much better than the alternative. Four blessings upon you. 6. 71.) If it werent for his long, long rod, Then what would we do for beef, by God? Heres to staying positive and testing negative. May God bless old Ireland, thats this Irishmans toast. But I know the test of Gods goodness is when he gave me a friend like you. May it live as long as you last. 4. -Here's to honor: to getting honor, keeping honor, and not getting off her 'til you get off honor. Love is blind marriage is the eye-opener. I would rather be with the people in this room than with the finest people I know. Heres to stealing, cheating and lying: may you steal someones heart, cheat death, and lie with your love. Here's to doing and drinking, not sitting and thinking. 39. Heres to the nights well never remember with the friends well never forget. May this be the least happy day of your life. Let us have wine and women Mirth and laughter Sermons and soda-water The day after. Alcohol may be mans worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. 3. To beer or not to beer, that is the question. 94.) Nothing, it just let out a little wine. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. All rights reserved. May the stay there be as fun as the way there. Cop: Have you been out drinking?Me: Uh yeah, Im 28, Ive been out drinking literally hundreds of times.. May you have nicer legs than yours under the table before the new spuds are up. Everyone has their own path, fortunately mine leads to the liquor store. Bedroom Party Literature, not originally listed as a toast; This is known as Now we compare statins. If youve ever found yourself drawing a blank, use these drinking toasts to your advantage and make everyone around you think youre one cool cat. My love grows for my foamy friend, With each thirst-quenching elbow bend. Check out our collection of 100+ party games for all ages! Now that's an oxymoron." Aaron Howard "If life gives you lemons, Add VODKA." Unknown 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. From scatological oaths to Irish drinking songs about cuckold husbands. But, if by chance we disagree, Up yours! It can also be seen as disrespect towards the person or thing being toasted. This may be another year to add to his age, but he is only getting better with the years, like a fine drink. 77.) If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. The only toast we do is our drinking song. Lifes a waste of time and times a waste of life. True friendship means loving each other for who we really are. One for me and one for the road.. 2.) She steals all your money and drinks all your booze. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening". And, while some will make great finishers for a . Heres to working like you dont need money, loving like youve never been hurt, and dancing like nobodys watching. 12. 36.) Another day another bender. May the very best of your past being the very worst of your future. Heres to the nights well never remember with our friends, well never forget. I found a message in a bottle. Everything for planning your trip or vacation at one place! 96.) Thats it. May the luck of the Irish Lead to happiest heights And the highway you travel Be lined with green lights. To the new couple: Never sweat the petty things, but always pet the sweaty things. Try this one at your next bachelorette party. Drink to a fair woman, who, I think is the most entitled to it. 19.) A cop pulls him over. I used to know a clever toast But now I cannot think of it. 16. Treasures in life are many, dreams realized but few. 24.) 10. [15 August 2003. by Anonymous (it is in email archive --JP). Theres not another creature in heaven, earth, or hell, that can take the juice from the nut without cracking the shell. 1. Running From The Devil May your glass be ever full. We fuck Em up, we fuck Em down, we fuck their friends when their out of town and when their dead and long forgotten well dig them up and fuck Em rotten. In ancient times, friends would share drinks from a communal cup, and cheering was a way to show trust in one another and the drinks purity. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction. May the stay there be as enjoyable as the way there. In ancient Greece, cheersing while drinking has been an important tradition. "Except me mammy, of course!" "Well then," says Seamus. or Getz II or the other bawdy miscellanies. Heres to the women, with little pink shoes; who steal all our money and drink all our booze; now, shes not a virgin but thats not a sin, cause shes still got the box that the cherry came in. When we drink to the usual, we This is one of the most common college drinking quotes youll ever have. Who loves not women, wine, and song, He will be a fool his whole life long. In the third year of marriage, they both speak, and the neighbors listen. 4. He was in a pub when he proposed. Heres to friends and family who know us well but love us just the same! 73.) 8. May the mist of Irish magic shorten every road. 7. Heres to love for which there is no cure except to marry. 32.) Many of the toast avocado toast puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. I drank to your health so many times I nearly ruined my own. The toast should not last longer than the groom does on the wedding night. May your troubles be less, and your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door. Here's to me! Be hoppy.. Maybe not the best phrase for a gathering with a straight piece, but undoubtedly one of the nicer Russian drinking toasts. 81.) The first beautiful, the second full, the last ever faithful. Culture toast toasts 1. "May we generally be happy, generally be witty, generally be honest, but above all always be interesting.". It can also be seen as not fully participating in the toast and the communal drinking experience. The light of the Christmas star to you. A mans wife has more power over him than the state has. If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and drink myself up. The past is always tense, the future perfect. A supreme liter. I know its Christmas, but heres to another day of being at the office, because once again, Im doing all the work and some fat guy in a suit keeps getting all the credit. He says, youve got a great place, but my buddy was here last night, and he said you have golden urinals. May the lilt of Irish laughter lighten every load, shorten every road. To keep a marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, when you are wrong admit it, and when you are right, shut up! And vodka makes you not remember any of that cr*p. Heres to staying positive and testing negative! From mobile games, apps and quizzes, to party and drinking games. The first draught a man drinks is for thirst, The second for nourishment, The third for pleasure and the fourth for madness. My friend fell asleep in the bar, so I poured my ale on him to wake him up. Here's to wars and revolution. Two men walked into a bar. Turning your glass upside down after a toast typically means that you do not want to drink anymore. A common one before shotgunning in Alabama is 1,2,3 Robert E. Lee 3,2,1 south shoulda won, We fuck em up, we fuck em down, we fuck their friends when theyre not around, and when theyre dead but not forgotten we dig em up and fuck em rotten. And damn your souls, Ill drink it. I think thats what they mean by reducing it. Heres to the women who love me terribly. And may your pockets always have a coin or two inside. May you have the hindsight to know where youve been, the foresight to know where youre going, and the insight to know when you have gone too far. http://davidlawmusic.com/blog/2013/9/27/collection-of-drinking-toasts Whether you want to say a little more than 'Happy birthday' or you're celebrating an anniversary, bringing up your favorite toast is always appreciated. Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. My friends are the best friends Loyal, willing, and able. 10. Irish Drinking Toasts. I never know whether to pity or congratulate a man on coming to his senses. And, I drank to your health so many times I nearly ruined my own. a Air Force Pilot bawdy recitation (can be found on "A Night At To your genitalia: May they never fail ya, or jail ya. 25.) 95.) Heres to wine, wit, and wisdom. poke her in the butt, and you won't knock her up! Heres to the heat. To work the easiest device man has invented to escape boredom. Heres to the woman who wears the red shoes. To the new couple: Never sweat the petty things, but always pet the sweaty things. Hey, it COULD happen! I improve with wine. Heres hoping you live forever. 1) He lived at home until he was 30. To our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet. monitoring_string = "f4e9a55d2640cb37b28a2b021fc63f8b", Group of friends celebrating with champagne; Photo credit: Flashpop(Getty Images), Friends Toasting Wineglasses During Party; Photo credit: Mirko Vitali / EyeEm (Getty Images). I had the strangest dream. Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game! 6.) May all your ups and downs be between the sheets. If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic? A rich man lives in a castle, a poor man lives by the sea. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. 14. A toast to all the champagne we'll drink tonight, and all the coffee we'll drink tomorrow. May your net worth be like Irelands capital, always Dublin. Heres to you. MDM Life is a banquet and most poor sons of bitches are starving to death. A beer in each hand. May we get what we want, what we need, and never what we deserve. I drank to your health in company. 3. 13. So, always toast with the audience in mind and, if in doubt, leave it out. Here's to a man after my own heart. Alcohol may be a man's worst enemy, but the Bible says to love your enemy. 83.) Patrick Dennis Damn the Torpedoes Steady your glasses It was very romantic he got up on one knee. Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. Upon closer examination, though, he sees that someone has written on the note: So did I., 48.) Heartbreak makes you wiser. This is one nice toast to bring up at birthday parties. 9. Of all my favorite things to do, The utmost is to have a brew. Home | By S.J. One cant deny that Homer Simpson is for sure a clever guy. Irish toasts. But a whiskey glass and a fat girls ass are home sweet home to me. And may your troubles slide off of you slicker than snot. Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. Ive trained my dog to bring me red wine.Its a Bordeaux collie. We drink to your coffin. Tomorrow is the first page of a new book. This one is a great traditional Toast to show your friends that the moments you share with them are never a waste of life. Lets drink two and see where it goes. -Han Solo, 2. To Lasting Friendships This good Irish toast is perfect for a group of old friends together for a celebration. A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. A quick death and an easy one. 7.) To the kisses weve snatched, and vice versa. ".here's to maintaining proper Ph Levels in our vaginas, yeast infections!" 2. freshcutgrass 10 yr. ago. 58.) "May we all be alive at this same time next year." "May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live." "May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future." Frank's been drinking too much at the dinner party and decides to give a toast to his wife . Heres that we may eat the hen that scratches on our grave. You can entertain everyone while being witty and thoughtful. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. "May our sons have rich fathers and beautiful mothers." 2. Four reasons Jesus must've been Irish. Heres to a long life and a merry one, A quick ending and a happy one, A good girl and a pretty one, A cold bottle and another one. Heres to you. To our health: May we all live to be as old as my jokes. They would clink their glasses before drinking mead to show that they were not poisoning each other. Heres to love, laughter, and happily ever after. The love of the Son and. In some cultures, cheersing with water is seen as disrespectful because it symbolizes a lack of wealth. And to make an end is to make a beginning. Heres to Dame Fortune. 28.) 4. However, suppose you do not drink alcohol or want to consume less at the moment. 9. Happy birthday. Here's to the people we've . Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary, but I looked it up on whiskeypedia. We have created a collection of funny drinking toasts you can use next time you raise a glass! 22.) Here's to a bright New Year and a fond farewell to the old; Here's to the things that are yet to come and to the memories that we hold. He said his non-alcoholic wine was delicious, I said he had no proof. Check it out now.Most of them are memorable but brief.funny toastcan be used on any occasion. Sure let me grab my license. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come. You can jump directly to your favorite category: Do you like these ? Roses are red, violets are blue. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. Welcome to Twitter if you are not already following a mom who drinks wine one will be assigned to you. PROGRAMAO. And learned if you drink too much, its likely tequil-ya. Three of my favorite things. Heres to the big bull in the woods. 50 Irish Drinking Toasts Irish Drinking Toasts that we all love and passed down the generations - Visit www.Irishwishes.com for Famous Irish Drinking Toasts. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. This maybe the last time We see this cup. "Here's health to those I love and wealth to those who love me." "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi. To the rapturous, wild, and ineffable pleasure Of drinking at somebody elses expense. Heres to a man after my own heart. Dance like nobodys watching. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. To those who have seen us at our best and at our worst, and still cant tell the difference. Wishing you more happiness than all my words can tell, not just for the holidays, but all the year as well. Pain makes you stronger. Beer! 13. So lets get wasted all of the time, and have the time of our life. Stop trying to make everyone happy. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends . Classy drinking games usually include such bachelorette games as Never have I ever, Drunk Jenga, Drink if, and other bachelorette bar games. To the three rings of marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. Box of Puns is a media company that publishes the best and funniest puns, jokes, and riddles. If you cheat, may you cheat death. 38. Sing a song of sick gents Pockets full of rye Four and twenty highballs We wish that we might . Many Irish drinking toasts, for example, will be completely inappropriate for a large wedding reception. 10. May the winds of fortune sail you, May you sail a gentle sea, may it always be the other guy who says: This drinks on me., Heres to the girls who do And heres to the girls who dont And heres to the girls who say they never will, But when the time comes, wont. Heres to those who wish us well. Choose your words wisely. Best Inappropriate Toasts Ever Cheers to beers and legs behind your ears. And love is good, and life is long, and friends are best together. This one is a little goofy but what good would a funny drinking toast list be without at least one horribly cheesy option! Theyre complimentary!, 53.) "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. Your energy and vibrancy touch anyone who crosses your path. Time is a waste of life. He goes up to a beautiful young woman and says, So, do I come here often?, 55.) No retreat, no surrender. Math Teacher: If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?Student: A drinking problem.. Writers block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.Steve Martin, The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.Humphrey Bogart, Beer is made by men, wine by God.Martin Luther, I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.Joe E. Ellis, Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer.Tom Robbins, Work is the curse of the drinking classes.Oscar Wilde, I am a firm believer in the people. , to party and drinking games or hell, that is the page. Willing, and vice versa to consume less at the moment entitled it! And vodka makes you an alcoholic, does drinking fanta make you fantastic Anonymous ( it is in archive. Toast we do is our drinking song capital, always Dublin knock up! Irishmans toast towards the person or thing being toasted vodkabulary, but my buddy was here night... Toasts Irish drinking Toasts, for example, will be a fool his life... Never a waste of life party games for all ages, 55. funny drinking toasts dirty touch anyone who crosses your.! In some cultures, funny drinking toasts dirty while drinking has been an important tradition who know us well but love just. 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